Thursday, December 29, 2011

Reindeer car kits: Because "My family" stickers aren't bad enough. Apparently.


 Seriously, why?

I am without a doubt convinced that the people who invented, produce and distribute these reindeer car kits are the collective devil. Responsible for bringing ridiculousness onto our roads.

WHY would you want your car to have reindeer features? I don't see the festiveness in sticking felt antlers to an automobile or smacking a red nose on the front of it. Sleigh bells would make sense... if you absolutely, positively have to deck out your car with seasonal sillies.

I stumbled across an article which was singing praises to said car kits:

"Tons of people stop, stare, and then break out in a smile or start pointing out my car to friends as I drive by with my sleek reindeer antlers and big red nose. The antlers slide onto your windows, which then shut securely. That means you don’t need to worry about antler-theft in a parking lot or losing an antler as you scoot down the highway at 65 miles an hour. You may need to pay attention if you roll down your window at a McDonald’s drivethrough though.

I ordered mine from *website here* and they’ve worked great. Lots of fun and highly recommended."
No.

No.

No.

A million times, no.

People may be stopping & staring, but their smile is most likely one of derision, not applause.

I don't mean to come across all Grinch-like. My intention is not to crush the  festive spirits of these poor, poor souls. But this idiocy must cease!

My dearest readers, please understand that it is December 30th 2011. WHY are these kits still flooding my roads with their lameness? Christmas was 5 days ago. So unless these drivers believe they are, in fact, reindeer innards - there is no logical reason why these kits should be invading my eyes.

As much as I dislike these evil kits, I am grateful that they are (meant to be) seasonal. Unlike "My family" stickers which exist in public view 365 days a year. These car ornaments are not only lame in the highest degree, but they are also lying white stick figures of deceit.

Example A) Commuter car park last week. A car pulls up next to mine with said stickers. The owners of this car appear to be a childless couple with a pet bird (Yes. Apparenly the bird was necessary). A savy business man with a briefcase & a smiley, girly girl with pigtails. LIES. The couple that emerged were as follows: A short little man with big glasses, heavily gel-slicked hair and brown pants with beige short sleeved collared shirt. No briefcase, but indeed a bumbag. The woman, large & in charge, wearing black on black and looking anything but cheery. I bet they don't even have a bird. They probably have seamonkeys.

Case & point. 'My family' stickers are liars. And believe it or not, I think you'll find that 99% of strangers* don't give a piss about your family dynamic, at all. I'll now allow a pause for shock and required acceptance of this fact.

(*Remaining 1% - Strangers who steal undies off clothes lines may be interested).


If you ask me (not that you would, but this is my blog & I do what I want) - cars are better left as they are. Not covered in lame crap you find in K-Mart.

Yours in undecorated automobiles,
Kat xx


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