Now, this could easily be one of those weird "things that only happen to me" scenarios...
But, I am hoping it is more like my Sunburn Fire Ant Hell Itch misery that I first thought I suffered alone with - how very wrong I was! Thanks to all the symptom-googlers out there who found my post & gave me such comfort in knowing I wasn't alone/insane.
So... I get this weird itch, or discomfort on the TOP of my feet - nothing between the toes or underneath, but only in winter - and only when my feet are warm??
Applying aloe or moisturiser helps instantly but nothing seems to last. My winter is a constant battle between frozen feet or itchy foot tops. Is there a proper name for this part of the foot?
There is no apparent rash or any visible abnormality - the skin looks & feels perfectly healthy & this weird symptom only occurs in the colder seasons.
Unlike Sunburn Fire Ant Hell Itch - applying heat in this instance is certainly not the cure but the only identifiable culprit & cause of my foot top itch distress! WHAT AND WHY must I suffer in such contradictory ways?!
I am not 'applying' heat or warmth to these areas, it is mainly that they warm up overnight in bed. I don't use an electric blanket or hot water bottles or anything like that. The itch is certainly nothing like ants under the skin - more like a mild mosquito bite itch - just all over the top of my feet, sometimes towards the ankle or sides of my feet too, but generally concentrated to the top area.
I refuse to spend the rest of my life waking up at 1:30am to put aloe & moisturiser on my damn feet tops - or whatever they're actually called. Similarly, I hate cold feet & don't want to subject my toes to a blanket-less winter - especially when temperatures out here are 1 degree celsius on the first day of winter.
I NEED to know what the hell this is & how it can be controlled, but ideally stopped. As far as I know I am the only person who has ever experienced this - I am hoping someone out there can prove me wrong & offer some advice.
Yours in weird body-ness,
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
How shit is this?
How shit are they?
And what the shit is meant to happen now?
My theory is, you can only be hurt by the people you're invested in. You - random reader, do not have the ability to truly hurt me. Please do not take this as an invitation to try, but appreciate that any malice between you & I would fall by the way side. Written off as internet trolling, online bullying, whatever term you prefer. It may be unpleasant, but at the end of the day, there is no betrayal, broken trust or any of the stuff that actually matters in the long run.
But being let down by a friend? A loved one? Fuggen BOOM! Welcome to THIS SUCKS.
Being let down by someone you care about is on par with breaking your knee. It hurts instantly & it will hurt long after the damage is done. You'll hobble around while you wait for it to heal and even when it does, it will most likely never be the same again.
So for me, whenever I've felt like my trust in a person has been betrayed, it's like they've just walked up to me and bashed my knee cap with a cider block & said "have fun with that".
Who are these people, anyway?
Friends. Lovers. Neighbours. Colleagues. Family. Take your pick.
First thing's first - sort your stand on the situation out.
Is this person worth keeping around? Here you're going to have to weigh up the pro's and con's. These are a selection of the kind of questions I've had to ask myself when being let down by someone I cared about & was left trying to figure out "where to from here?".
I hate the term "out of character" - everything is out of character until you do it. So don't use this as an excuse when weighing up your options. If it was truly out of character, it wouldn't have happened. Face facts. Next.
Is keeping this person in your life going to make you happier or enrich you as a person in the long run?
Can you live with broken trust?
Will you & the betrayer come out of this stronger? Or is that just what you'll tell yourself?
What are the social & communal implications here?
It depends on the nature of the situation, but generally I tend to try and switch positions. To do what they did, what would my thought processes be? What would my motives be?
More often than not, if I am uncomfortable with being in that mindset - I know that these people aren't going to bring anything positive out in me moving forward.
I do believe that people change, but I also think our own sufferings and struggles depend mostly on ourselves.
I'm a firm believer that you only feel the way you let yourself feel. It's easy to blame others for their wrong doings, for how it's affected you & why it continues to do so. But at the end of the day, people only make you feel like shit because you grant them the power to do so.
Take control back. Decide how you want to feel and what you need to do to achieve it. If you can pull through, work on rebuilding genuine trust and come through stronger than ever then all the more power to you.
On the other hand, if you don't have the heart for the battle or the person is just a blue ribbon asshole for whatever it is they've done, move on. Cut the crap & focus on those around you that are worthy of your time & energy.
Many times I have found myself in situations where I have had advice given to me on what my options should/could be. In hindsight I should have chosen one over another & vice versa more times than I can count. But at the end of the day I think it is important to just be honest with yourself & do what feels MOST HONEST for YOU at the time.
You need to learn your own lessons. If you make bad choices in hindsight, hey, so does everyone else. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is a dirty rotten liar.
Being let down is horrible, but allowing yourself to stay miserable is worse. Time really does heal - the actual time frame is the only variant here. No one controls how long you feel unhappy for other than you. No one knows what is best for you other than you. Know your worth, give this some consideration & move in a direction that will allow you have what you deserve.
If you're still unsure, know the following:
You are stronger than you know.
Yours in honest living,
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Welcomed, surprising, unpleasant, confronting, joyous.
It seems life has an endless supply of events, circumstances and occurrences to keep us on our toes. I don't subscribe to either theory that life is either down to fate or chance. But one thing I've seen to be consistent over my 26 years is that these events, circumstances and occurrences, whether good or bad, always come in 3's.
For the first time in a little while, the universe decided to throw me a bone after a bit of a good-news drought with a nice three-tiered package of awesome.
And whilst I am happy to bask in my current state of luck/fate, I cannot turn my attention away from the fact that some of those I care about have been hit with a much less awesome three-tiered round of events, circumstances and occurrences.
My dad once said that his smile depended on the smile of my sister and I. The same can be said for me with my family and friends. It's hard to enjoy good fortune, whether by luck or fate, when those around you are struggling to find two good pieces of news to rub together.
At the end of the day, I just accept that 'Life happens'. You can't win all the time. Maybe the earth would tilt off it's axis if life was consistently chipper and lucky. Hard, unpleasant and challenging times lie ahead of me for sure and time will tell what they are in due course. But until then all we can do is enjoy the wins when we have them, listen and assist others who are short of a win and know that when it's your time to lose out, better times will follow soon enough.
Life happens. No controlling what's thrown your way, just how we choose to handle ourselves when it happens.
Yours in current gladness and appreciation,
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, or so they say.
Friends who play cupid, whilst their intentions are thoughtful, what they fail to see is that if it doesn't work out, or ends up being one-sided, it just creates one hell of a hot mess for everyone to deal with.
If two people like each other, it will happen on it's own. However 'encouraging' two people together will most likely end in people just being put in an awkward situation. And no one wants that at a Sunday BBQ.
Avoid the awkward. Don't set up your friends.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
We hope you've enjoyed your trip, this service will now terminate at:
Tickets are non-refundable. Please enjoy your stay and travel with Take-A-Chance again soon.
Who hasn't been here before? The shittiest valley of them all.
I rarely care to complain about life, because I am all to aware of how many fantastic people and times are in it. But sometimes, against all better judgements, you get your hopes up and when things don't work out, you come crashing down into Disappointment Valley.
Luckily* you have Cold Reality and Broken Pride to cushion the fall.
The recent round of let downs has come unexpectedly and sans explanation. And being left with the outcome of dashed hopes is as bitter to swallow as it always has been. But trying to make sense of the senseless is about as useful as trying to unscramble an egg. So I don't dwell, cry or lay awake at night trying to pick the point where this journey took such an unexpected detour to Disappointment Valley via Brain-Breaking Point. So in lieu of anger, frustration or hurt, what is left but disappointment?
I have a formula for disappointment:
All we can do is make peace with reality, be grateful for the lessons learned and keep on walking.
The weight of disappointment never gets lighter, but you do learn how to deal with it better with knowledge and strengths gained from past experiences.
No visit to Disappointment Valley is permanent. Some stays are longer than others, but I am quietly confident that this trip will be a short-lived one. So in the interim, I'll wear this sigh-face with the knowledge that I'll be better placed for the next bump in the road, whatever it may be.
Often the best of destinations are the ones you have to first endure a bumpy ride to get to. So remember not to let temporary disappointments rattle your cage too much.
Yours in enduring chipperness,
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
I remember being told some horrible news when I was about 12 years old. A sweet, caring and beautiful older lady named Helen who lived down the street from my dad had passed away in what I can only describe as a truly horrific and incomprehensible way. I only saw her once a week, but she was always pleased to see us, would offer my sister & I sweets & always tell my dad what lovely girls he had.
At the time, she was simply a lovely lady whom I knew very little about, that everyone in the neighbourhood thought highly of. One day we picked her flowers from the park & dropped them off on our way home. This little, admittedly small-thought gesture I was later told, was talked about for a week.
This sweet and loving woman never spoke ill of anything & always had a beautiful smile on display. You’d never had guessed the traumatic and heartbreaking reality she faced on a daily basis at the hands of her abusive and putrid husband who I will hate until the day I die.
She once said that life held much beauty even in the face of adversities. She never complained or spoke in want of anything. She sung praises of those around her and when asked how she was going, she would always reply with “all the better for having seen you”.
Helen took her own life in April 1998 in such a way that still brings me to tears 14 years later and gave a horrible insight to the extent of her suffering.
The shock felt like being hit by a freight train at a million miles an hour & given the nature of the situation, it wasn’t until I was a bit older that dad told me the story in its entirety. To this day, I am still amazed that she was able to smile and be as beautiful of a person as she was and have no one ever guess what horror was going on behind closed doors.
I wholeheartedly believe that if someone had of known the extent of her hardship, that someone would have been able to help her & she would still be here today.
Even if you don’t suspect that anything may be wrong, start the conversation. Ask someone if they are OK. Regrettably, today is a day that many in that neighbourhood are reminded of the conversation they wished they’d started with Helen.
Visit: www.ruokday.com and start a conversation that could change a life.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Sweet. Merciful. Christ.
I didn't know it was possible to feel like this & still manage to function (albeit in zombie mode).
My wonderful out-of-towners were in-towners for a brief period, so a night in at my friend's place turned into a 'two-hours-of-sleep-if-you-were-lucky-but-you-probably-weren't-cause-lady-be-looking-like-a-hot-mess' night coupled with a bangin' headache thanks to Grey Goose vodka, many Strongbows & some cheap bubbles.
Lift into the city was greatly appreciated. Even if it meant we were out of the house by 6am and I was at work at 7-fuggen-30.
I'm not in the correct mind space to elaborate right now, but two things I have learnt this morning are:
1) When you're this tired, you are fresh out of shits to give if there's a hair in your coffee. Seriously. Don't care. Just make me feel alive please.
2) When you're this tired, words don't look like words. Especially words relating to a CRM database which on a good day - is still the mother of all arse pain. "Define the categories using the run-time filters in the corresponding modules for the definable filters"... pretty sure that's not even English right now. GTFO, database 'report wizard', you horrible bastard.
Brain can't figure out how to sign this one off right now.